


Secret Love

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes being an asshole, But he learns, Captain America Steve Rogers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt Steve Rogers, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Omega Steve Rogers, POV Bucky Barnes, POV Steve Rogers, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Cuddling, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Avengers, Protective Thor, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Team as Family, Thor is a Good Bro (Marvel), Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Bucky was Steve's alpha, but he doesn't remember.  Steve turns to his new family for comfort and understanding.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Avengers Team, Steve Rogers & Thor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 178





	Secret Love

Thor sits on the sofa with Steve’s head in his lap. Fingers gently carding through the super soldier's hair. A quiet, weak purr comes from Steve and Thor prides himself on doing something right. This situation is painful for the Captain and that’s about as much as Thor understands. “Captain?” There’s a whimper and Thor changes tactics. “Steven, I wish to understand your situation better, but feel it is not my place to ask.”

  
Steve shifts and Thor lifts his hand away. The super soldier grabs it and returns it to his hair and Thor continues his menstruations. “With what you’re doing for me, please ask.” Steve brings his fists under his chin and waits with eyes closed; knees pulled up so that he’s in as much of a ball as possible.

  
“We do not have these designations on Asgard, but I have been with the Avengers long enough to comprehend the importance.” Steve sits up, pulling his legs to his chest while Thor turns to watch him more closely. He knows that his Captain is in pain both physical and emotional. “This gas that has caused your suppressants to fail, it has triggered your heat, yes?”

  
“Yes, and it’s been a long time since I had one so it’s more painful than normal.” Thor nods and Steve, without thinking, moves closer and snuggles into Thor’s side.

  
The bigger man wraps an arm around him remembering Stark's warning to give words and actions of comfort. “This would be easier for you if you were with an alpha.” Steve nods and sniffles because that fact alone is devastating. “I have watched you when you believe no one is and if my powers of deduction are accurate, and they may not be, is not Barnes your alpha?”

  
That’s the last thing Steve expects and it brings sobs up from the depths of his very core. Thor just holds him through the worst of it knowing there’s more to this story if Steve is reacting this way. It’s a long while before the omega is lucid enough to talk. Thor fixes some of the tea given to him by Romanov and Steve sips it quietly on the sofa while Thor watches.

  
Finally looking up, Steve tries to smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes and Thor realizes that it’s been a long time since it has. “Bucky was my alpha before, but he doesn’t remember and I can’t force him to want me again.” It’s the hardest sentence that Steve’s ever uttered and the omega in him cries out for something it can’t have. “The others know, but we didn’t tell you because you don’t have designation and I didn’t know if...”

“If I would understand your situation?” Steve nods and Thor pulls him closer. “Thank you for trusting me now.”

  
  
Bucky returns to the compound worn out in the best way. He loves this new century where all designations have full control over their bodies. No more courting and making intentions known, just fucking everyone and anyone. Since getting the all clear from his doctors, he’s been enjoying it very much. When he’s not on missions, he’s out in the clubs looking for his latest conquest and boy have there been many. He’s literally having the time of his life.

  
As he steps into the common room, all talking from the team stops. “Hey, when did you guys get back?”   


Everyone looks at him like they’ve been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. Tony jumps up, patting Bucky’s shoulder and heading to the kitchen. “You look like you need food. You need food, right? Yeah, I’m going to get the food.”

Natasha rolls her eyes and looks at Bruce and Clint. “We were just talking about the mission. It was rougher than we thought it would be.”

She gets kicked under the table and glares at Clint. “It wasn’t that rough. I think she’s just getting old.”

Natasha squawks at that and Bucky just laughs. “Glad to hear the mission went well. I’m going to head to bed.” As he heads back to the elevator he stops. “Hey, where’s Cap?”

Tony drops something in the kitchen. “I’m alright! I got this!”

Bruce uses that split second to refocus everyone. “Cap is getting a shower and probably eating something.”

Tony comes out of the kitchen carrying the food. Bucky looks around suspiciously. “Why isn’t he down here with the rest of you? Doesn’t he like to do the whole team bonding thing after missions?”

Clint jumps in, trying to save the situation. “He was really tired when we got back and wanted to just grab something quick and head to bed.”

Tony and Bruce nod, Natasha watches him to see if he buys what they are trying to sell. Bucky nods. “Alright then, I’ll catch up with Mr. Star Spangled tomorrow then.” As he gets in the elevator, he can hear a collective sigh of relief and knows that his instincts are right. Something happened with Cap and he’s going to find out what.

The elevator opens on Cap’s floor and he’s immediately hit with a scent that makes him drool on himself. Cap either has a little omega in his apartment or...or Cap is something that Bucky didn’t realize. That can’t be it though because if Captain America is an omega, Bucky thinks he would remember that. He doesn’t remember much, just blips from his past, but he’s read in books, on the internet, at the museum that he and Cap were best friends. So, if Cap was an omega, he’s sure the guy would have told him.

Getting closer to the door, Bucky inhales deeply and the alpha part of him wonders if Cap would mind sharing this omega because she smells incredible. It smells like she went into heat and Bucky definitely wants to get in on that. Then again, knowing everything he does about Cap, the guy is probably stroking her hair and offering to cuddle her instead of doing what any red-blooded American alpha would do. Given everything that Bucky’s read, he’s pretty sure that Captain America doesn’t even have a dick to get wet. According to the reading and even the jokes from Stark, Cap doesn’t do sex, hell, Bucky’s not even sure he’s ever kissed anyone, there’s a reason he’s America’s Golden Boy.

Knocking on the door, Bucky can feel himself getting hard in his pants, even after the night he just had with a cute little beta  twink . Thor opens the door, narrowing his eyes at Bucky. “My friend, it is best that you retire from Steven’s door.”

Bucky starts to talk and there’s a whimper from the sofa. “I was just checking...” He zeros in on Cap sitting on the sofa, hugging a blanket around him, looking just like an omega in heat. “Well, well, well, maybe you should let me in, so I can help Cap out. How did I not know you were an omega? You need some help, sweetheart? That heat getting to  ya ?”

He starts to step forward, but Thor blocks his entry. “I will have to ask you to leave and to refrain from speaking to Steven in this manner. He is the Captain of our team and you are showing a great disrespect.”

“Come on, Thor. Omegas want it and I’m happy to give it.” Bucky finds himself against the elevator door and a very angry God of Thunder in his face.

“You will remove yourself or I will remove you.” The words are through clenched teeth and Bucky has never seen Thor like this before. The doors open and Bucky is thrown against the back wall of the elevator. “The next time you see our Captain, it would be appropriate that you find your respect by then.”

Bucky arrives on his floor and wonders what the hell has just happened. Captain America, prude from a time that Bucky doesn’t remember, is an omega and a really sweet smelling one too. Sitting next to the window, he wonders if there’s a way to get the guy into the sack and not throw off the balance of the team. He’s never smelled anything that  enticing before.

Thor slams the door, going back to the sofa and pulling Steve into his lap. The omega cries for what just happened, but also for the alpha he lost. The guy at the door was not his Bucky. Bucky was never like that. He knows what the alpha does when he isn’t on a mission, he knows that he goes out and picks up omegas, betas, and alphas alike and beds them. He knows that Bucky has become something he never was before, but he can’t figure out why. He continues to sob into Thor’s chest.

The God of Thunder has JARVIS open a link to the rest of the team and fills them in on what just happened. Thor has no designation, but knows that everyone else on the team, with the exception of Barnes, is an omega. But all he knows is that they fight like the greatest warriors that Thor has ever known and he will protect them from any kind of threat, even one from inside.

“How is Steve?” Natasha’s sounds concerned and for someone that doesn’t show emotion that’s surprising.

“Steven is not well. If the doctors are correct, he will be like this for several more days, but the visit from his alpha did not do well for him.” Thor pulls the blanket over and covers a now sleeping super soldier. “I will be with him until  this passes , but someone will have to deal with Barnes.”

“Is there anything else we can do?” Clint cares about his team like they are family and when this happened to Steve on the mission, he was the first one to his position. He had to quickly call someone else and both Hulk, who doesn’t have a designation, and Thor came as quickly as they could, but now, Thor is the only feasible option since they don’t think that Hulk would be a good idea.

“He will sleep much of the  time, I fear. Part from his elevated hormone levels and part from the emotional pain he is in.” There are affirmative hums on the other side. “Would it not be better for him to simply tell his alpha?”

Tony snorts. “You mean the alpha that thinks Steve is a prude from the 1940’s. It’s obvious that he doesn’t remember anything from before and has been faking it. He doesn’t even know who that man is that you’re protecting.”

Bruce chimes in. “I’ve been working on something that would neutralize how we react to his pheromones. If it  works, we might be able to come and stay with him and give you a break, Thor.”

One omega in heat is bad enough for the team, but if they visit now, it will cause all of them to go into heat. They can’t have the whole team down. “You may come, but I will not leave Steven until this has passed.”

They cut the communication and Thor carefully picks the omega up and carries him into the bedroom. Covering him and then taking a seat near the window, Thor picks up a tablet and starts reading. He has JARVIS put everything important about Steve’s situation on it, so he can be better informed. In a few hours, he’ll fix Steve something to eat and hand feed him if necessary, but he will not leave his friend.

He also doesn’t trust Barnes to stay away. The whole team is aware of his extracurricular activities since getting the all clear and none of them know what to do with that. Steve had been so excited to have his friend back, but when it became obvious that Barnes didn’t remember, Steve made them swear they would never tell him. He told them that the ex-assassin deserved to live the life he chooses and not one that he doesn’t want.

Thor looks up when Steve whimpers and mumbles the alpha’s name. Going to the bed, he runs his fingers through the omega’s hair, calming him. Once he’s quiet again, the Asgardian goes into the living room, so as not to disturb Steve’s already restless sleep. “JARVIS, could you look up Steven’s past orders and have everything that he likes delivered.”

‘I can indeed, sir.’

It’s the end of the fourth day and Steve is finally back to normal or seems to be. Thor takes him to the medical floor and has him checked over. The doctor confirms that his heat is over and puts him back on the suppressants to control his pheromone output. He joins the rest of the team for dinner and Thor stays near in case Steve needs him. It seems that Asgardians are very tactile and contrary to what most people think about Steve Rogers, he’s always been that way too. He and Bucky were always touching in some manner and not having that when he first woke up was more detrimental than waking up in a new century.

When the team finally came together, and Steve trusted them with his designation, which had been hidden for serious reasons, they became a family. There’s still a pack mentality that occurs with omegas and when there are this many in one place, in close proximity to each other, it is only natural that they bond. The team was more than a little surprised to find out that the guy they assumed was an Alpha, and not just any alpha, but the epitome of alpha, was, in fact, just like them. 

Thor, not having a designation, was welcomed in because he posed no threat to the team. On one occasion that Thor was off world, Steve trusted them with his other secret. They were all stunned when he pulled his shirt aside and showed them the bond mark. It was then that he told them about Bucky.

Tonight, the team sits around the table, talking as though nothing has changed, because for them, it hasn’t. Barnes watches how they are with each other and how Steve leans into Thor for support. The super soldier doesn’t look at Bucky often during the meal, not letting himself be pulled into those eyes. When Steve leans back in his chair, Thor’s arm drapes across the back. Everyone else at the table understands why, everyone except Bucky. For some reason, it really gets his hackles up.

When dinner is over, Steve sits with Tony and Bucky comes to join them. Tony looks at him with suspicion. “Barnabas, why aren’t you helping with cleanup?”

He tries to look shy, but Steve knows that look. It’s the calculating Bucky expression. “Because Stark, I was hoping I could ask Cap to dinner tomorrow.”

Bucky gives him a wink and Steve knows exactly what this is. Tony starts to jump in, but Steve stops him. “Tony, give us a few minutes.” The billionaire doesn’t want to, but he also trusts that his friend knows what he’s doing. Once Stark is gone, Steve looks Bucky dead in the eye. “I’m not a conquest for you, Barnes. And you’d do well to remember that I’m leader of this merry band.”

Bucky puts his hands up. “I get it, but we’re supposed to be best friends and I didn’t know this about you.”

Steve stands and knows that he’s finally at the end of  his rope with this situation. “Let’s be clear, it’s become obvious that you don’t remember me from before, not the real me. Did you just tell the doctors what they wanted to hear, so they would release you for missions?”

The team is now watching from the kitchen. “Well yeah, they wouldn’t leave me alone, so I started spouting all the stuff I read about you from before and they bought it.”

“Well guess what, I’m not the guy you read about. That was someone else’s propaganda and not the real me. If any of that shit had been true, don’t you think it would have mentioned by designation? I’m not the persona, James, there’s someone behind that and the only people that see it, is them!” He points to the team. “You don’t know a damn thing about me!”

That's the last that Steve sees of Barnes for a few weeks. He trains, he goes on missions, but someone seems to be pulling strings because Barnes is never in the gym when Steve is and they aren’t sent on the same missions. At the end of week three, just home from a mission, Steve sees Barnes headed out with Clint and Natasha. They’re headed up the ramp to the second jet while he, Tony and Thor are coming off the first one. Bruce wasn’t needed on their mission and doesn’t seem to be needed on this one. It must be more of a spy situation and less of a smash.

They debrief, clean up and meet back on the common floor to eat and relax with a movie playing in the background. Steve falls asleep cuddled up with Tony and neither of them hear Pepper come in and have a conversation with Thor. “How was he on the mission?”

Thor looks up into the alpha’s face and knows she isn’t talking about her mate. Thor looks back at the sleeping omegas. “He was efficient.” She hums. “He feels no passion for what he is doing, Pepper. Part of him is missing.”

“Yeah, I was afraid of that. Do you understand what’s happening?” Thor looks back up at her and shakes his head. “Steve was able to hang onto the bond before, but once Barnes started bedding others, he couldn’t do that anymore.” She takes a shaky breath. “What I’m trying to say is, he’s going through what amounts to the death of a mate. Without support, he could end up getting sick, really sick, and not even the serum can help him.”

She heads back to the penthouse and Thor looks at his friends. They’d made a pallet on the floor and leaned back on the sofa until they’d fallen asleep and ended up cuddled down into the blankets. He can’t imagine what it would be like to have a soul mate die. That’s the closest thing to designations that they have on Asgard. Getting up, he takes his shoes off and crawls onto the pallet, pulling both omegas to his chest. They settle in and continue to sleep. Thor drifts off vowing that none of his new family will suffer needlessly if he can help them.

Tony wakes in the night and gets up to head to the penthouse and his alpha. He leaves Steve to the tender care of Thor, who cuddles the big, blond omega to his chest. It’s too bad that Steve is grieving because it would be a good match. Thor would care for him in the most loving way without taking away who Steve is. Walking to the elevator, Tony shakes his head. It’s just too bad.

Team two comes in the following morning when the sun hasn’t started to rise yet. Clint starts to say something when Natasha shushes him and points to the living room floor. The three of them freeze because Thor and Steve have turned on their sides facing each other. Thor’s muscled arms are wrapped tightly around Steve, and Steve’s head is nestled under the God’s chin. Clint grins. “Good for them.”

Bucky feels his insides twist up in a way that he’s never felt before. The idea of Cap with someone else makes his blood boil and he wants to go over and snatch the omega away, but he has no right to do that. Cap doesn’t even like him anymore and that also causes his insides to coil. Natasha looks at him, smirking. “Gotta problem with Cap...”

She doesn’t finish because Bucky snaps back. “No, I don’t!” And with that, he heads to the elevator and his own floor. He hasn’t been out in a while and tonight, after some sleep, he’ll go find himself someone that will ease the unease.

That plan doesn’t work out, there are many that want his attention, but none that pique his interest. So, he dances and tries not to think about why that might be the case. Close to the end of the night, an omega comes over, definitely in pre-heat and begins rubbing on him to the beat of the music, but she doesn’t smell right. It isn’t until his in bed later, alone, that he realizes that it’s because she didn’t smell like Cap. 

Getting up at close to four because he isn’t going to sleep, Bucky heads to the gym to work off some of his excess energy and to get Cap out of his head. He’s spent months and months lying about what he remembers from before and now that Cap has set new boundaries, Bucky knows he needs to keep his distance. He gets that he hurt Cap by lying about what he remembered, but it just seemed a pretty safe bet that the guy from the history books, the internet, and the museum was the real deal.

Pushing the door open to the gym, he isn’t expecting to hear someone already there. Going around the corner, he finds Cap punching away at the bag. His shirt is off and Bucky watches the play of muscles in his back and arms. It’s quite a sight and for several more minutes, he just watches. Finally realizing that he’s being a creep, he goes to the bench and starts wrapping his hand, but he has to admit that Cap is beautiful. Seems punching isn’t such a bad idea. He hears an intake of breath and looks up to see Cap staring at him. 

“What are you doing here?” Cap starts unwrapping his hands, but it’s the sheen of sweat, making Cap glisten that has the brunet’s attention. The omega is fucking gorgeous, but then Bucky sees it and freezes.

“You...that’s...” He points at Cap’s neck and the blond reaches up, covering the bite.

“That’s none of your business.” Without finishing removing the tape from his hands, Cap leaves the gym and Bucky sits dumbstruck.

“Cap has a mate?” Standing he throws the tape back into his bag. “JARVIS, does Captain Rogers have a mate?”

There’s a pause as JARVIS calculates the correct response to the question. ‘Captain Rogers has no mate listed in his file, sir.’

Bucky blows out a breath. “So, it’s not Thor?”

‘Sir, Thor is unable to mate Captain Rogers.’

So, what he saw yesterday morning wasn’t what it looked like. “Captain Rogers doesn’t have anyone listed as having special  privileges to his floor?”

‘Only those that he has revoked for you, sir.’

Bucky could swear that the AI is trying to word things very carefully. Going back to his floor, Bucky starts doing research, but instead of asking JARVIS, he starts going through old files on his own. It isn’t until he gets to Howard Stark’s photos of Project Rebirth that Bucky sees it. There’s a mating bite on Cap’s neck after he came out of the chamber. Skimming through the photos, he finds one from before the procedure and sees the same mark. “Holy shit. Cap had a mate back then and that means they’re dead. Jesus, the poor guy.” He sits back in the chair processing that. No one could help him through his heat because his mate is dead. The guy must have been in all kinds of pain and Thor, without a designation, was the only safe person to be there with him.

He wishes, more than anything, that he could remember back then, so he could figure out who Cap is grieving  for. Having that heat just reminded him that his mate is gone. And then Bucky came along and acted like a dick. He owes the guy an apology and maybe more than one. He suddenly feels very tired and just wants to sleep. 

The following day, Bucky leaves the Compound and heads to the nearest coffee shop in the town nearby. He checked with JARVIS and found out where Cap likes to go and what he likes to order. Getting a couple of pastries and two coffees, he heads back and stops outside Cap’s door. Knocking, he almost expects the man to slam it in his face, but instead, when Steve opens the door, he waits for his former friend to say something.

“Listen, I owe you multiple apologies for how I’ve acted and...yeah, so anyway, I got you this.” He hands over the coffee and bag. “I’m really sorry that you’ve had to go through the stuff you have. It didn’t occur to me that you might have had a mate and that...well...they’re gone now.”

Something in Steve’s face falls and his eyes start to water. “Yeah, okay. Thanks.”

The door closes and Bucky knows that he said something wrong, but for the life of him, he can’t figure out what. He’ll just have to try harder. Determined to make the situation better, he goes back to his floor and asks JARVIS to have access to Howard’s journals and agent files. He starts reading from the point of Project Rebirth, to Cap rescuing the Commandos, to Bucky going off the side of the train, to seeing Bucky on the bridge in DC. It isn’t until he reads through everything a second time that something about all of it niggles at the back of Bucky’s consciousness. He’s missing something and it’s damned important.

Getting up, he goes into the bedroom, standing in front of the mirror and pulls his shirt over his head. Looking carefully, there’s a section of skin, near where the deep scars are around the left shoulder and clavicle that looks like half of a.. .”JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” He gets closer to the mirror. “JARVIS, scan my left shoulder and tell me what this is.” He puts a finger on the mark.

‘Sir would not wish me to interfere...’

Bucky’s not having it. “I’m not asking you to reveal personal information about anyone else, JARVIS, I’m asking you what this mark is because it looks like what’s left of a mating bite.”

‘You are correct, sir.’

Bucky sits heavily on the end of the bed, looking into the mirror. Everything that Cap did before, during and after the war, has to do with him. Every damn time, it was always about Bucky. He doesn’t remember it, but deep down in his bones, Bucky knows the bite is Steve’s. “Steve.” Until now, he always made sure to call the man Cap. It was easier for everyone, no that’s not true, it was easier for him. Now, he’s got to figure out what he wants. If his searching is correct, Steve’s dying inside because of him. 

Suddenly, all of those sexual conquests make the alpha sick. “Oh god, he probably hates me.”

The next morning, a little later than normal, Bucky walks into the communal kitchen and finds the team. Steve is fixing something that could be breakfast or maybe brunch, but whatever it is, it smells really good. Steve looks over his shoulder, nodding to Bucky. “Foods almost ready.”

Steve puts the food on the table and while everyone talks and laughs over the food, Bucky watches the blond man. Steve takes small, tentative bites, like he’s trying to choke it down. Getting up, Bucky goes to the cabinet and gets down some tea. Fixing a cup, he sits back down, passing it to Steve. The rest of the team is still talking, but they make note of this gesture. Steve nods, lips in a thin line. It may piss him off that Bucky made the tea, but he still takes sips from it and seems to settle some.

With breakfast over, Steve heads to the gym with Clint. Clint invites Thor to join them, but the Asgardian smiles. “Steven has fed us and I will help clean up.” 

Steve blushes, giving the God a smile, which Thor returns. Bucky wants to punch something, but knows he doesn’t have the right. If Steve decides that he wants Thor, the God of Thunder would be lucky to have him. On the other hand, that thought makes Bucky want to punch something even more. Maybe he doesn’t have to think very hard about what he wants if these instincts are surfacing. Bucky follows Thor into the kitchen and helps him clean. 

Bucky believes he’s being discreet, but Thor finally turns around, leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, and narrows his eyes at the ex-assassin. “You have something you wish to say to me. Or perhaps ask?”

Bucky stops wiping down the table, freezing in place. “I guess I do.” He turns around, staring off against someone that could probably take him down. “What are your intensions towards Steve?”

Thor is an exuberant person by nature, but he is also observant. People forget that he’s smart because of his behavior sometimes. He smirks at Bucky, putting the brunet on alert. “My intensions should remain between Steven and myself.” There’s a glint in his eyes and Bucky doesn’t know how to take that.

“So, you’re saying that you do have intensions?” The glint revs up a notch and now Bucky thinks the guy is screwing with him.

Thor steps over to Bucky, who holds his ground. “My intensions are to keep him safe from anyone that might wish to do him harm.”

Thor heads out of the kitchen. “And what if the intensions aren’t to do harm?”

Thor pauses. “Then it will be Steven’s decision to decide what to do with those intensions.”

Bucky comes back into the Compound knowing that Steve got back from a mission last night. He’s dressed to impress, to gain attention, which happened in town while he was picking up the food, but he ignored that attention. Getting to Steve’s apartment, he knocks, hoping that the blond is alone. When the door swings open, Steve’s standing in pajama pants and no shirt. “Jesus.” It’s only a whisper and definitely a slip up on Bucky’s part.

Steve’s face shuts down. “What do you need, Barnes?”

Bucky looks at the floor and shakes his head. He’s off to a really bad start. Looking back up, he sees dull blue eyes and a mouth set in a thin line. “I went into town and got you some food. I thought you might need it.”

Steve looks at the bags and sees it’s from his favorite café. “And you did this why?”

“Because I thought maybe you could tell me about yourself.” Steve shakes his head, not understanding. “The real you, not what I’ve read about.”

Steve runs a hand down his face. “You really don’t remember anything do you?” He steps away from the door and heads down the hall. Coming back a few minutes later, he’s wearing a shirt. “I guess I thought there was something, anything about before, but you don’t remember anything.”

The door is still open and Steve hasn’t asked him to leave, so he steps into the apartment. “I have these blips, you know, like I know what my Ma looked like and my sister Rebecca, but I don’t remember my dad or if there were other kids.”

“Becca.” Bucky quirks his head to the side in question. “Your sister, we called her Becca or Becks. Your dad wasn’t around much, working I suppose. Left before you got up and didn’t get home until you were in bed.” Steve shrugs.

Bucky puts the food on the table and starts unpacking. “What about your Mom?”

Steve gets a melancholy smile on his face and his eyes light up. “My Ma was the greatest woman I ever met.” As the containers open, Steve seems to get caught up in talking about his Mom and Bucky lets him. “She was an omega too and a nurse, which is why I didn’t die all those times I could have. She never gave up on me, well once she called the priest and he gave me last rites, but mostly she just kept telling me I would be okay.”

Bucky sits heavy in a chair at that thought. “You were sick enough to have last rites?”

Steve sits too and picks up his fork. “Hell, they probably should have been given more than just that once. Anyway, she didn’t give up and so I didn’t give up. The whole neighborhood used to talk about us.”

Bucky picks up his burger and starts eating. “Why?”

“During that time, if you were an omega, you got yourself mated and stayed at home. Ma fought that stereotype every fucking day. Said that omegas could do anything they damned well pleased and no one was going to tell her or her son what they could and couldn’t do.” Steve picks up an asparagus spear and points it at Bucky, grinning. It’s the most alive Bucky has seen the blond in. ..ever . “Very progressive thinking for the time.”

Bucky laughs and wishes that he could remember her. “Did I know her very well?”

“Hell Buck, you were over all the time and once you tried to pull the alpha card and she smacked you in the back of the head and told you that being an alpha didn’t mean you had to be a cad.” The minute ‘Buck’ comes out of Steve’s mouth, Bucky is flooded with something, he can’t name it, but it’s there.

Steve sees the reaction and gets up, coming around the table. Kneeling next to the chair. “Hey, you okay?”

Bucky looks into eyes that seem more alive,  more blue , just more. “Yeah, sorry, just had a weird reaction to hearing the stories.”

“You  wanna stop talking?” Bucky vehemently shakes his head. Steve goes back to his chair and Bucky immediately misses the closeness. “What else you  wanna know about?”

They keep talking and before they know it, it’s been hours. Bucky goes back to his own apartment feeling lighter and more settled than he has in ages. Lying in bed that night, just as he’s about to doze off, he knows why he reacted the way he did. He gets a blip. Steve is small, looking so delicate and perfect. He’s under Bucky, looking up with such love and devotion. Then he whispers ‘Buck.’ The terrifying ex-assassin, pulls a pillow over his face and cries. It was their bonding. He doesn’t remember every detail, but he remembers that moment.

Getting up from the bed, he runs to the bathroom, getting sick. All those others he’s been bedding are now Bucky cheating on his mate. His Steve. He’s not sure they can come back from that and more than that, he’s not sure that he has a right to want anything from the blond. Miss Sarah would be so disappointed in him. Maybe he was always a cad.

The following morning, Bucky contacts Fury. The Director of SHIELD listens as Barnes asks for a mission, anything that will get him away for as much time as possible. There is an undercover  op that had been put on the back burner because they didn’t have anyone that could pull off such a long mission. Bucky takes it, gathers his things, and leaves the Compound, headed for New York. He doesn’t say anything to anyone, except Thor. 

The God of Thunder gets up that morning to a message flashing on his screen. He sees who it’s from and asks JARVIS to play. Barnes looks like he’s sick, he’s pale and his eyes are red and puffy.

‘Hey, I’m leaving on a mission and I may not be back for a long time. I remembered something and I can’t reconcile the memory with what I’ve turned into. No matter what happens, please take care of Steve. Watch out for him because he doesn’t know how to do it himself. I’m sorry I haven’t been a better person and I’m sorry for what I’ve done to him.’ He pulls his shirt aside and shows the half mating bite. ‘I know now and Steve deserves better than what I’ve done to him since coming back. Please don’t tell him about this, Thor. If he asks, and he might not, tell him that Fury had a mission for me and it’s a deep undercover operation.’

The screen goes dark and Thor plays the message again. Steven doesn’t want Barnes to know and Barnes now knows, but doesn’t want Steven to know. “Humans are very confusing.”  But he keeps the information to himself. 

When Bucky doesn’t show up for breakfast, JARVIS informs them that he’s left on a mission. Steve asks what the mission is and is told that he’s on a need-to-know operation. Fury wouldn’t have asked for Bucky if it wasn’t something the man can handle, so Steve doesn’t worry too much. That holds up until week three has come and gone. They had that nice meal and talk, then Bucky disappears on a mission that no one knew anything about. 

A few weeks later, Steve receives a package in the mail. Sitting in his living room, he opens the box and finds a pair of leather gloves. They’re soft and he slips them on. They’ll go with his leather jacket and are meant for riding. There’s a card under them and picking it up, Steve opens it.

‘I shouldn’t be sending this while undercover, but I saw them and thought about you.’ 

It’s signed simply with a ‘B’ and Steve’s breath catches. It’s the first of many gifts to arrive over the next few months. Every few weeks, it’s something different and the card is simply signed with the same ‘B.’ It almost feels like he’s being courted, but he laughs that off. Bucky’s just trying to reclaim their friendship after the mess from Steve’s heat. Four months in, Steve receives flowers, lilies. The card attached is again simple.

‘These were your Ma’s favorites?’

That almost makes the blond cry, but he holds it in. There’s no way to get in touch with Bucky to tell him that, yes, they are his Ma’s favorite. The implications of that hit Steve square in the chest. Does that mean that Bucky is remembering? And if he is, what all does that mean?

Five months after Bucky leaves, Steve goes to see the doctor. He’s been fine, like really fine, but something under his skin is starting to get to him. Dr. Harris checks all of his vitals, does a few scans, and takes blood. They’re always very careful about taking blood and destroying any remaining, but when the super soldier comes in of his own volition, Dr. Harris knows it’s a serious situation. 

Steve’s concern is that they have a mission he’s going on the following day and he needs to get this figured out before then. Dr. Harris comes into the room, still looking over the test results. “Alright Captain, let’s talk.”

Steve nods, sitting back in the chair he vacated when the door opened. “Okay, that doesn’t sound good.”

Harris chuckles. “Well, that depends on what you mean by good.” He hands the file over and Steve looks at the results. “Your suppressants are failing because your body is reacting to a mating proposal. At least that’s what these kinds of readings usually mean. Steve, are you seeing someone?”

Steve looks at the file, then up at the doctor, blankly. “No, I’m not. What else could these results mean?”

Harris scratches his head. “The only other thing is that your suppressants could simply be failing and we need to find a new combination for your metabolism.” Steve looks at him confused. “Steve, it was always a gamble that the serum could do this. What it means is your body is going to go through a heat in the next week or so. Once that’s over, we can play with the combination and figure out how to counter that.”

“Are you saying that it’s pointless taking them?” He’s got a mission and can’t be going into heat in the field.

“No, I’m not saying that. Keep taking them until you get back from this mission and then we’ll figure out what to do from there.” Steve nods, standing, handing the file back. “Are you going to be okay?”

Nodding again, Steve heads to the door. “I’m always okay.”

The door closes and Harris looks back down at the file. “It’s always the ones that say that, that make me worry the most.”

The mission does not go as planned. Clint takes a hit and if not for Tony would have gone off the side of the building. Steve is sweating more than normal and doesn’t like what that might be. Natasha gets distracted by Clint’s near accident and takes a hit to the side. Thor, Bruce, and Tony are the only ones that seem to be in top form. The terrorist cell finally falls to the Avengers. SHIELD comes in to do clean up and catalogue the weapons, while the team limps back to the jet.

“Well, that could have gone better.” Tony sets the auto-pilot and turns in his seat. He zeros in on Steve. “Cap, what’s going on?”

Steve relays what the doctor told him and the rest of the team stays silent. Clint holds a compress to Nat’s side and looks over. “What are you going to do?”

“There’s nothing I can do. I have to let it run its course, then have them figure out how to manipulate the meds to keep it at bay.” Thor sits down next to him and Steve leans into the bigger man.

“I’ll be with you through this if you need my assistance.” The team watches the two because they are close, closer than they’ve been before, but nothing Steve does leads them to believe that they are involved.

“I may take you up on that, but for now, let’s just get home and get everyone taken care of.” Bruce comes over to check Steve over, then goes back to Natasha.

The jet lands and they exit. Thor carries Natasha, who put up a fuss, but secretly likes the attention and Tony supports Clint. The med team takes them as a nurse comes over to scan Steve. He waves the guy off and heads into the building. Instead of going to debrief, they decide to get cleaned up and maybe eat before they go through that. Steve isn’t expecting to step into the building and find Bucky waiting.

He sees Steve favoring his leg and comes over to help. “You should get checked over.”

Steve stands frozen in place at what he sees. Bucky’s hair is short and he’s dressed in nice slacks and a sweater. He looks like.... Steve whimpers and has the desire to run. “Buck?”

Bucky takes his arm, throwing it over his shoulder and helps Steve. “It’s me, Steve. Had to change my  appearance for the mission, but it’s still me.” 

The problem for Steve is that he’s so much like the man who was Steve’s alpha that everything omega in the super soldier cries out. They get to Steve’s apartment and Bucky sits him in a chair and goes to get water. Coming back, Steve looks up at him in wonder. “You look...good. You look  real good, Bucky.” 

The alpha blushes and kneels down. “Now, how bad are you hurt?”

“It’s really not that bad. Clint almost went down and I got distracted. Took a hit along with Nat, but it’s already healing.” He drinks the water, not realizing how thirsty he is. “I just want to get cleaned up and eat something.”

Bucky pats his knee and stands. “Tell  ya what, you go get cleaned up and I’ll see what I can find. Unless you want to go eat with the team?”

Steve stands, shaking his head. “No, I think I’d like to stay here.” He heads down the hall to the bathroom, trying not to think about how Bucky looks now.

In the shower, things go from bad to worse. The hot water slides down the planes of his body and at first, he thinks it’s just the heat from the water, then his knees buckle and he falls. “Shit!” Through clenched teeth, he tries to drag himself up, but his whole body feels like it weighs a ton.

“STEVE!” Bucky steps into the shower, not even considering he’s still dressed. “We need to get you  to medical.”

Steve clings to Bucky and his body starts to settle down. Having his alpha near helps. “No, it’s not the injury. I’m going into heat and you need to go.”

He feels Bucky freeze, then help the blond to sit on the bench in the shower. Getting back out, Steve thinks he’s going to leave, but instead he starts to undress. Steve looks up horrified at what this could mean. “Sorry, punk, but I’m not leaving. I’m not going to do anything to you, but I’m not leaving you in this condition. We’re going to get you cleaned up, then I’m going to get some food in you. After that, we’ll see how you are.”

Bucky washes him carefully, avoiding things that he shouldn’t touch and letting Steve handle that. Once clean, he dries the omega and gets him into soft pajama pants and a t-shirt that feels worn and comfortable. He borrows sweats and a tee for himself and guides Steve to the sofa. “You don’t have to be here.”

Bucky stops in his tracks, coming back from the kitchen with more water. “I know that, but you need someone here and I’m what you’ve got.” Realizing that he’s maybe not welcome, he hands the glass over. “Unless you want me to call Thor. I can get him here and leave you with him...you know...if he’s your...”

Steve shakes his head. “No, Thor is my friend and only my friend. I don’t mind you staying, but you were dressed like you were headed out...you know...to...”

Bucky kneels down in front of Steve again, encouraging him to drink. “Yeah, about that. I haven’t done that in a really long time. Since before I left on the mission.” He rubs the back of his neck and Steve recognizes that move. Bucky’s trying to say something without saying it.

“Why?” Sitting the glass on the table, Steve looks his friend dead in the eye. “Why haven’t you been doing that? You seemed to enjoy it.”

“Yeah, until I realized something important.” He pulls his shirt aside and Steve zeros in on the half mating bite. “Seems I have a mate and I didn’t know. I thought it was just part of the scarring.” He reaches up, putting a hand on Steve’s shoulder and letting his thumb brush the mating bite through the fabric. “I hurt you. With more than one thing, but I remember now. You don’t  gotta take me back after everything I did, but I’m going to be here for you. Even if it’s just as friends.”

Steve melts out of the chair and into his alpha’s lap, arms wound tightly around Bucky’s neck, holding on for dear life. Bucky’s arms encircle his waist and pull Steve in, keeping him as close as possible and safe. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

Steve puts his apartment on lockdown and sends a message to the team. He asks JARVIS to hold all of their responses and to assure them that Steve allowed Bucky in and everything is okay. For three days Bucky takes care of him and never tries anything more than holding him, cuddling him, and allowing Steve to snuggle into his side at night when they sleep. The morning of the fourth day, he’s feeling better, the heat has passed. He sends a message to Dr. Harris that they can start trying to figure out a new combination of meds for him.

Bucky comes out of the shower, dressed in sweats and a hoodie. Steve watches him clean up the living room and wonders. “Buck?”

The alpha turns, looking at the omega leaning on the doorframe of the kitchen. Coming over, he stops a few feet away. It started this morning when Bucky realized that the heat had passed. He’s keeping his distance because he doesn’t know if the touching is welcome anymore. “Yeah?” 

Steve walks into his alpha’s space, circling his arms around Bucky’s waist. “We’re going to have to talk about this.”

Bucky nods while looking at the floor and heads over to sit on the sofa. “Yeah, I figured.” There’s such resignation in his voice. “Listen, I wanted you to be safe during this heat and I probably overstepped.”

“No, seriously, you were great.” He goes to sit next to the alpha. “But I need to know how much you remember.”

“I don’t remember everything, but some stuff, important stuff, I think.” Steve nods encouraging him to continue. “I remember a birthday, before things got really bad and I got you a drawing journal. You hugged me so tight and wouldn’t let go.” 

“I filled that journal with drawings of you.” Steve blushes at that admission because a he never told Bucky that. 

Bucky grins and it’s so familiar that Steve sucks in a sharp breath. “I remember your Ma taking me aside and giving me the talk when you presented. It happened later than most and she knew that I’d been waiting.” Steve’s eyes get huge because he never knew that. “I remember my Mom taking me aside and trying to talk me out of what I wanted. Telling me that as much as she loved you like her own, you might not make it through another winter.”

Steve swallows hard at that. It was always a fear. “She was right at the time.”

“Maybe, but it didn’t matter to me. I remember  thinkin you were going to die when you were 15. You got so sick and by then things were bad and we didn’t have money for medicine much less the hospital, but you pulled through. I remember not leaving you even once.” Steve bobs his head because he remembers coming out of that one and finding Bucky leaning over the bed, sleeping with his head against Steve’s hip. “I remember when we mated.”

Steve’s eyes shoot up. “ Yo -you re-remember that?”

Bucky gets up and goes to the window. “Yeah, I remember how beautiful you looked under me, how you sounded, how you felt.” He turns back, but doesn’t quite meet Steve’s eyes. “I want to mate you again, Steve, but I can’t make you want me like that again  seein as how I’ve cheated on you over and over.”

“Bucky, the things you sent while you were on the mission, were those courting gifts?” The alpha blushes and Steve  knows that he’s right. “You were trying to court me again.”

“Yeah, it was dumb and I shouldn’t have done it, but I wanted you to know that I was interested.” Steve gets up, coming over to Bucky and wrapping his arms around him again.

“It meant a lot, but I didn’t know how to take it at the time.” He kisses the alpha’s cheek. “And  so you know, lilies were Ma’s favorite.”

“Would you let me court you proper?” Steve believed that if Bucky ever wanted him again, that he wouldn’t hesitate, but there have been a lot of sexual conquests and the omega needs to know that Bucky won’t regret not having that outlet.

“I’ll let you court me, but you have to do something for me.” Bucky nods.

That’s how Bucky finds himself in what used to be his favorite club. The rest of the team is at a booth in the corner, with Steve. Bucky sits at the bar, watching the people. Numerous have come over to make their interest known, but nothing about them is appealing anymore. Not since smelling Steve’s scent.

Natasha, Clint and Steve get up, Bucky watches them avidly, and take to the dance floor. The three of them dance together and even when others try to join them, they maintain their distance. This isn’t about drawing in other  people, this is about something Steve needs. Bucky lets them dance through about two songs, but by the time the third one starts, he can’t hold back anymore.

Making his way over, he dances up behind Steve. The blond turns, smiling coyly at the alpha. “Can I have this dance?”

Steve takes his hand and lets Bucky pull him in. “Only if you never dance with anyone else.”

“That’s a promise I can definitely keep, beautiful.” He pulls Steve against him and they move together. 

Six months later, Steve paces the living room waiting. He got a message from Bucky hours ago that he was on his way home. This mission was supposed to be three days tops and it’s been two weeks. Steve’s had to juggle his meds to keep the heat at bay, but he’s about to crawl out of his skin. He didn’t tell Bucky he was stopping the suppressants, so the timing of this mission is a real issue. He stopped the suppressants two days ago and he’s been heating up all morning.

When it gets to be too much, Steve strips down and heads to the shower. Leaning into the warm water, he lets is slide over his back. In six months, Bucky has been the most attentive alpha that Steve could imagine, even more so than before. They’ve courted for the normal amount of time, or what was acceptable back in their day. The others think they’re being silly and should just bite each other, have sex and be done with it, but Bucky has been insistent that he is going to make sure Steve understands his commitment. 

So lost in his thought, Steve doesn’t hear the door open and it isn’t until arms are wrapping around his waist from behind that he starts. There are kisses raining down on his shoulder and Steve leans back into the warmth. “You smell amazing.”

“I’m in heat and you’re late.” Bucky chuckles and Steve can’t stay huffy about it because Bucky is here now.

“I’ll have JARVIS have some stuff delivered and we’ll get through this just like we did before.” Steve smirks knowing that Bucky can’t see it.

“Not just like before, I hope.” The alpha turns him, searching Steve’s face.

“Steve?” He doesn’t even have to say anything, just press his body into Bucky’s. “Oh.”

“Yeah, so if that offer of a mating is still good, I’d like to take you up on that now.” The smile Bucky gives him is blinding.

“Yeah?” Steve nods and leans in to kiss his alpha.

They should have expected that three days later when they exit the elevator for the common room to be filled with balloons, a banner reading “Mr. And Mr. Barnes-Rogers" and a cake. It was the most blissful three days of Steve’s life and if the look on Bucky’s face is anything to go by, he’s pretty damn happy too. The fresh mating bites linger with a dull ache, but Steve wouldn’t trade it for anything. He finally has his alpha back.


End file.
